I, however, still have a story to tell.
As you may have read, I decided to make the whimsically-decorated shortbread cookies for the various holiday gatherings I would be attending. But then I started thinking. (Things always become complicated when I start thinking. Note to self: Don't think.)
Maybe the shortbread cookies wouldn't be enough. Maybe they wouldn't provide a varied enough spread of dessert (pondered, despite that the places I was bringing the desserts to would also have other desserts). Maybe I should make something else.
Perusing the internet, I came across several incarnations of a similar recipe (like this one, and this one) involving a pretzel, a Hershey's Kiss, and an M&M. If you were feeling really crazy, a Hershey's Hug or a Rolo could be substituted.
Boy that sounded easy. And good. In my mind, the holiday crowds were already happily noshing on little pretzel chocolate bites, despite that I had not yet even gone to the store. The salty/sweet joy just seemed that attainable.
With a skip in my step, I headed to the grocery store, picking up the requisite pretzels, M&M's, Hershey's Kisses, and Hershey's Hugs ('cause I was feeling just a little bit wild).
According to some reviewers of the recipe, the hardest part was unwrapping the candies. AWESOME. Adam and I turned it into a race. Can you sense the joy? Are you beginning to try to guess where things went awry? 'Cause lets be honest, we all know they did. Especially when I started with "I have a story to tell."
What are some predicted endings? Every surface in the kitchen gets covered in chocolate? The pretzels catch on fire? The package of candy breaks and M&M's fall all over the floor like those little ball bearings, causing much colorful slippage?
Read on, my friends.
So I decided to make the Hugs versions first, noticing with delight that the pretzel equivalent of one bag of Hugs fit perfectly on my baking sheet.
I perched outside the oven door, watching the little Hugs melt for about 5 minutes, not exactly sure when to take them out, over-melting them slightly. We applied the M&M's, and were done with this batch.
We then repeated the same steps with the Hershey's Kisses, filling the sheet with the pretzels, then placing a Kiss on top of each. This tray went into the oven, while I began to watch.
5 minutes passed.
10 minutes passed. Still solid. Still Kiss-shaped.
15 minutes. The Kisses had absolutely not melted one bit. Adam attempted pressing an M&M into the top of one, and it crumbled and flaked dryly.
We exchanged disconcerted looks.
The previous batch sat in the other room, cooling.
I placed the tray back in the oven, "5 more minutes"
5 minutes passed.
Something, I'm not quite sure what, or how, had gone very wrong.
The Kisses were dry, burned on the tips, and crumbled when pressed. They were pretty much the complete opposite of the smooth melted chocolate I had read would result from this, supposedly in mere minutes. Not 20 of them.
As I'm sure you could imagine, the house was now filled with the oh-so-appetizing aroma of burned chocolate. Yum.
Adam, the portrait of a supportive boyfriend, will try anything I cook. Oh yes, he did.
"NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO DON'T EAT IT!!!!" I shrieked, simultaneously fanning the wafting fumes of scorched candy out of our general direction while attempting to grab the sad-looking chocolate out of his hand.
"Maybe it doesn't taste that bad," he popped it into his mouth.
I tried to stop him, dear readers, I tried.
Needless to say, this batch went into the trash.
I began to wonder where I had gone wrong. An overwhelming amount of people, on multiple recipe sites, had had success with this, it seemed so logical and simple, what had happened?
Like a detective, I began to retrace my steps. The recently purchased bag of chocolate was not expired. The Kisses were kept at room temperature, unwrapped, then placed within minutes into the oven. I've grown accustomed to kitchen mishaps, but they can normally be pinned undeniably and with reason on me. I didn't grease the cookie sheet. I wok-fried cheese. I baked using wax paper.
I could not figure this out.
So I contacted Hershey's, explaining what happened, how befuddled I was, and how disappointing the results were.
Less than a day later, they responded, thanking me for contacting them, saying they understood my frustration of having disappointing recipe results, suggesting I go on their website for chocolate melting tips, apologizing, and saying that I will be reimbursed for my purchase in 2-4 weeks.
Really, I was pretty impressed, not only with the speed with which they responded, but to the level that they responded, especially given that I had not said I used a Hershey's recipe specifically.
Want to see what arrived in the mail, I'd say approximately 2 weeks later?
When I went onto the chocolate melting tips website, they did not have any information about melting chocolate in the oven, which leads me to believe that it is probably not the best way of doing so (although it seems to work for lots of people). If anyone does know what went awry, I am still pretty curious, feel free to share your wisdom!
* any suggestions for mine?